Media Councils

A media council is a version of a family council specifically targeted at discussing media and whether it is appropriate for your family. This is incredibly important because the media you invite into your home has a great influence over you and your family. Just like there are certain dangerous people you would not want to invite into your home, there is dangerous media as well.

Hearing swear words, viewing even an introduction to pornography, or violence might be big obvious topics, but you may also want to consider whether it supports or condones prejudices, has good role models, or encourages any kind of bad behavior. If you’re like me, you may also want to consider whether or not it supports traditional families, or if it says that alternative lifestyles are acceptable or even desirable.

Who should be involved in a media council? When we preview something for the first time, we generally have only the parents. Children find it hard to be objective about things like Pokémon, where they already like the characters. Having said that, when we watch something for the first time with the kids, we ask them what they thought of it and if they think it’s okay for our family to watch, specifically bringing up points that could have been controversial, such as, was this part too scary? Do you guys know that we don’t say that? Or even, what would’ve been the right thing for that character to do? That way we can check to make sure the kids are learning the right things from it. Since most of them are vetted by us first, what they see is usually okay, but sometimes they will bring up things that we didn’t notice or think was an issue at first, and it’s important to take their thoughts and feelings into consideration too. This way, we can also teach them to choose good media for themselves for when we are not there to tell them what’s right and wrong.

I said that children might have a hard time being objective, but it should be noted that parents are not immune either. There have been numerous times when we have rejected a show because of something the creators put in the last season, the last episode, or even the very last scene of the series, and after enjoying the whole rest of the show, it’s not always easy! Most people say, you can just skip that episode, but I, let alone my kids, will not remember which episode to skip the next time we watch it, and if it isn’t worth watching twice, then it probably wasn’t worth watching the first time. If something is from a franchise you generally like, that doesn’t mean it should be automatically accepted either, but it can be hard to say goodbye to characters you’ve grown attached to. I always feel a little bit betrayed.

We find it best to counsel about media soon after we see it or hear it, when it is fresh in our minds, although we may revisit something if we need to later. Sometimes we will come together with a list of songs that we can listen to right then and there, sometimes we will let each other know there is a show or movie we want to try or a book we want to read, and we can come up with what things we need to watch for going into it. We might say, I’m interested in this movie, but I’m worried it will be too rude or have too much potty humor. I’m interested in this book or show, but I’m worried it will have a language issue. This way, we can discuss what pitfalls might be in store, and then decide whether or not it is worth the risk at all or worth the time we would put into it.

With websites like common sense media, it’s pretty easy to find reviews that will tell you if there is a lot of language or violence or nudity in something. More than anything, it helps us rule out movies before we invest the time in it. If we can see upfront that there is a sex scene, or language we are not comfortable with, or even if it just sounds too scary, we would much rather find out before we are an hour into a movie. It does have some deficiencies, we don’t always approve of their age rating, and we have found some things that were not listed on their website, but should’ve been, so as always, you still have to watch and decide for yourself, but it can help. Media outside of television, such as books or video games is limited, but we have also found it helpful to watch a YouTube video of someone reading a kids book, or playing a game before we spend the money to buy it.

Because our kids are so young, we approve everything they read, watch, listen to, or play. If you are deciding to implement this when your kids are older, maybe reading chapter books on their own, or playing games and watching movies at friends houses more often, it may be impractical for you to keep up with every piece of media they consume. Instead, you may want to spend more time focusing on teaching them to choose well for themselves, and only periodically check what they are reading, watching, listening to, and playing. Wherever you and your family are though, the benefits of having good, wholesome media in your home are irreplaceable and worth the time you put into it. Your family’s language, attitudes, and even behavior will improve. Below are the links for the talk on family councils and for common sense media.

Family Councils: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2016/04/family-councils?lang=eng

Common Sense Media: https://www.commonsensemedia.org/